a great face for radio...
Originally published October 22, 2010
by Jefe de Burro, Lorna Doone
The Admirals of the Airwaves."
According to unconfirmed reports, the lawyer representing Messrs. Igo, Swain, and Saki was quite impressed by the opening remarks of Mr. Foran (who, as he is wont to do, represented himself). Witnesses to the event recall how, with gusto and panache, Mr. Foran's Counsel outlined his client's case before the bench. Among his less offensive evidences were: 1) Mr. Foran's right to "Facebook Stalk;" 2) That an order to come no closer than 3000 feet to the Airwave Admirals was "really not cool" as all four were students at the same institution. He closed with a series of ad hominem attacks concerning the facial asymmetries of the presiding judge, the Honorable Harnold "Harvey" Thompson. This last item lasted the better part of the afternoon.
|Mr. Foran Addressing the Bench|
At approximately 4:45 pm, Mr. Foran relinquished the floor, which at this point was slick with expectoration.
Silence followed the loud expletive that bookends Foran's signature sign-off. When half a minute passed without reply from bench or barrister, the Judge timidly tapped his gavel and announced a recess until the following morning, his singular cheek still an emblazoned tell-tale of his acute embarrassment.
Present in the courtroom that day were Messrs. Igo, Swain, and Saki. Utterly impressed by Foran's ability to rise beyond his own ignorance and "...speak interminably and with such conviction things which he knows nothing of," the Airwave Admirals presented Foran with a KPNI application. He formally accepted the position behind the microphone in September 2010 when the term of the restraining order came up without request for renewal.
And that's how the cookie crumbles. And it always does with Lorna Doone reporting.
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